BROKEN, well...cracking.

I see God changing me. In particular - what i think is important and exciting. its change. its different. its uncomfortable and I'm not sure if i like it. But there must be something or some part of me that embraces it or i dont think it would be happening. its almost like my heart has begun an argument with my mind - who has always done a great job of telling me what i need to know. But now what? it seems like i think/believe/feel deeper and that what used to be fun and exciting - or at least my determination to fight for them, are starting to break

heres what i mean. it is actually becoming more fulfilling to give than to get - i just thought that was a fancy way of encouraging selflessness. theres more - appreciation feels better than...feeling good, Quality is a no brainer over quantity, and i am border-line evergized by things (and people) who previously drove me crazy, or atleast made me impatient.

maybe its just me, but impatience when life didnt revolve around me, having a lot, "feeling good" and being on the receiving in any way, shape or form is all i knew and...i liked it. sure i had good days where i chose "depth" over "shine" but those were the exception.

Maybe its just the perspective that comes with age, but though i do have my share of grey hairs for 25 years, i am still young. i truly believe God is slowly (and hopefully, surely) changing me to think and be more like Jesus - our Lord and example.

Dont conform to this world (how it behaves and thinks) but be changed by the renewing of your mind (thoughts, beliefs) so we can prove and understand God's will! (romans 12.2)

it will take being broken to how we may be used to think to fully renew our minds and think and do what God wants - allowing the "shine" to break to know the "depth". And from what little i have seen so far, his way is tons better than mine!